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[bitras]

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telepathy;

[overconfidently]

Scott's gone, too.

[bitras]

Fuck. Nate, I'm so sorry.

Where are you?

[overconfidently]

First mom, now him. Same month, too. I was only just starting to think I could call him dad.

[bitras]

And he still is, Nate. You never know what might happen. Look at Steve.

[overconfidently]

Yeah. And he could leave again. Just like my mom did.

[bitras]

I know. We all could. Just as we could all die.

I spent five years mourning, miserable and afraid. Don't be like that, Nate. Don't let it eat you alive.

[overconfidently]

Sure, Pete.

[bitras]

Right.

I won't push for where you are, because you obviously didn't want me to know. Please be safe.
If I don't see you by morning, I will come find you unless you tell me not to. I will respect what you want.

[overconfidently]

It's not safe for you to be around me.

[bitras]

I really don't care if it's safe or not. It's where I should be.
What have you ever known of me to not be there for those I love?

[overconfidently]

I could hurt you, Peter. Just like the last time I got upset.

[bitras]

I know. That doesn't change my feelings on where I should be or what I want to do to try and help you.

[overconfidently]

You're all I have left.

[bitras]

Then let me be there for you.

[overconfidently]

( through their connection, it's easy to feel his heart sink then and the ripples of his sadness to come from that sinking heart. )

Maybe it would be easier to just not feel.

[bitras]

... Nate. No! Fucking hell.

I'm coming to find you.

[ He can't even hide the panic and fear he's feeling in that moment to those words. ]

[overconfidently]

Peter, I'm tired. I'm tired of feeling all of this back to back.

[bitras]

So you want to give us up? Give me up? Really?

[overconfidently]

I could make you forget me. It's not like you'd remember this.

[bitras]

[He can't hide from the connection how bad that hurts, the way it strikes him like a blow. ]

Don't you dare.

[overconfidently]

Wherever Peter is, Nate will appear there suddenly. Not within his mind this time, no. More that he'd sought him out — felt him out through their connection and, being a little unstable as he is both emotionally and with his powers, he's here a lot quicker than he normally might be.

"I could make a lot of people stop feeling pain, Pete. Shouldn't I? If I can do that? Isn't that the merciful thing to do for all of you?" By just not letting anyone feel anything.

[bitras]

Peter had been about to climb out the window, despite how shaky he feels because of those words. He's dressed in his sweats and tee shirt, but the canisters are strapped to his wrists.

Slowly he lowers himself back inside, staring at Nate with wide eyes.

Wide eyes and he pales as the man he loves go on like that.

"No, no you shouldn't. It's not merciful, it's so wrong. You can't take away their memories, Nate. People deserve to have their memories, even if they hurt. There's nothing that makes me want to forget Gwen. No matter how painful and how hard it is. You would just give up Wade? Really?"

He's hurting and he's scared and he's shaking though he's not aware of it.

"Sometimes we have to hurt, and we have to cope with it and learn to live with the pain."

[overconfidently]

"How much more, Peter?" As he asks that, his left eye glows that golden light. "Don't you get tired of feeling it? One after the other? Again and again? Isn't that how people just give up? Because I know you feel it, Peter. I know you feel what I feel when I keep losing people here."

Because of their connection, of course. Nate does his best to block Peter from feeling it, but. That initial reaction to when he senses someone else gone... he knows Peter picks up on it, even if he's not always aware of what it is, but. Maybe he does lately, with the number of people that Nate's lost within the past couple months alone.

"Why have all this power if I just continue to let people suffer?"

[bitras]

"Whatever it takes. Because that's what life is, Nate. We live with what happens and we do everything we can to make it better for us and others. Forgetting isn't helping, it's taking away things."

His voice waivers as that eye starts to glow, his arms out at his sides as if to calm him down, but he also has the canisters ready. It's the first time he's been around Nate that he's felt a familiar sensation and having that tingle happen now, because of the man he loves, is one of the worst pains he's ever felt. His eyes sting and his chest aches as he shakes his head.

"You're not your power, Nate, and it's not your choice to take those memories away from others." But he suspects he knows the answer to what comes next from his mouth, hating that he's crying even as he asks it.

"Is that what you want for you? To forget us all? Jean? Scott? Wade?" His voice cracks and he swallows hard, afraid to look away as if this might be his last memories of Nate that he'll never remember if Nate actually does this to him. "Me?"

[overconfidently]

It's easy for Nate to fall into a more reactive mode — to become unstable with his powers when his emotions override his logic. It's hard for him to separate the two at times... to not want to simply act in the moment — in what he's feeling, but. It's dangerous for a telepath to do that, because of the things they can do.

Like the things Nate is, in a sense, threatening to do.

But it's that connection that they share — that he hasn't severed between them when he could have before coming to see him — on top of the way Peter's voice sounds that has the gold in his eyes dim some and he drops his gaze as he recalls the things he'd experienced with Wade — how he'd been the one to open him up to feeling things with others in the first place, clashing against how much he misses him still.

How much he would miss Peter.

Letting his eyes fall shut, he frowns and Peter might be able to feel an internal struggle of sorts happening within Nate through their connection. As if two sides of himself are arguing with each other. "I didn't even get to give Scott his father's day gift..."