Wherever Peter is, Nate is suddenly there beside him, hands in his pockets, looking off ahead as he sighs. He's in the other man's head — projecting himself with his telepathy and yet, it's as if he's actually there because he can be touched if Peter reaches out to do so. The mind is a powerful thing and Nate is one of the powerful telepaths from where he's from. Eventually to be The most powerful.
"Hey," he says. "Just thought it would be... better than reading a text."
He isn't sure what he's expecting, but then things are different and Nate's there and he considers him for a minute. He hesitates a moment and then he can't help himself but he reaches out to stroke his hand along his shoulder. Just needing to see how it is, and what he can feel in this place.
"I appreciate it. Wade seemed concerned, but so did others. Like they only do these things to show us the worst."
When Peter touches him, it's as if he's really there. From the very fabric of his coat to the softness of his hair. It's as real as Nate lets it be and, for this moment here, he lets it be the most real it can possibly be.
"Yeah. I mean, considering this place doesn't exactly go out of its way to make our lives easy or happy, wouldn't put it past them." Smile there faint on his lips, he looks over to Peter before he sighs and turns slightly to face him. "I... lost my telekinesis. So it's why I'm here in your mind. Not being able to fly sort of makes traveling a nightmare when you're used to it."
Whatever it is that he's expecting from Nate, that isn't it. He moves to stand closer to the other man, reaching for his hand. He hesitates a minute and then takes his hand.
"How? How can that even happen? You can still do this but you can't ... What happened?"
He tries to imagine losing his abilities, but none of his are quire like Nate's. More than that, he wasn't born with them.
He lets Peter take his hand and it's warm — solid. Definitely not some ghostly apparition one might think when it comes to telepathic conversation. He may not be The Best at it yet but, he's gotten better at making things seem so real to the point you can touch them.
The question has that faint smile slip away entirely and blue eyes drop to gaze at the floor, thumb brushing over the back of the other man's hand. "I... think I burnt myself out a bit. I figured I would at some point just... didn't think it'd be so soon."
"Oh. Nate. God, I'm so sorry," he whispers, utterly stunned. He hadn't been born this way, but he couldn't imagine being without all he's gained. To lose it like this.
He blinks though, hopeful. "Maybe it's just a block? Maybe things got... wait, you said you knew it would at some point. Why? Does this happen to those with telekinesis? Is it a finite power?"
Nate isn't sure how to answer that and it shows in the way those blue eyes of his avert their gaze from the man there before him, even though he still holds his hand. "It's just... different for me."
Everything has been crazy and he's had the horrific echoing of not being there in the right moment to help. Nate isn't dead, but what must it feel like?
So he steps in closer, catching Nate's strong jaw with a delicate touch of his fingers and ducks his head to try and meet his gaze. His fingers give Nate's a squeeze.
"Hey. Talk to me. Okay? I'm here to listen and do whatever I can. Or just listen. Okay?"
Peter's so gentle and patient with him — so willing to help and listen to him that he reminds him some of the Peter Parker he's (finally) met back within the world he's from— well. That he fell into and has been stuck in now, what with his own world gone.
"I'm dying," he says then, lifting his blue eyes up to meet the other's. "Or... burning out, I guess." Sigh on his lips, he shakes his head, hating that he has to tell him this... again. "The madman who made me from Jean and Scott's DNA embedded a sort of... expiry date in my own DNA. I'm too powerful of a weapon to be around and so it's better to get rid of a weapon when you no longer need it than have it laying around to do whatever it wants." It's the best way he can describe it, really. "I'm too powerful for my own body to handle. It's why I pass out or bleed at the nose or feel dizzy after awhile. I... think my losing my telekinesis might be me burning out. The start of it maybe."
He doesn't know what else to say in that moment, stroking his thumb along the line of Nate's cheek. All of his fears and panic from the coma are gone, just wanting to be there for Nate.
"I... No. I don't accept that." It's a ridiculous thing to say but he means it. "You ... No. This place, and everyone in it, and all I've already learned about. There has to be a way to fix it. There has to be a way."
He hates seeing Peter like this... seeing how defeated or panicked he looks, even just in the eyes there. He can tell. He's a telepath still, after all, even without his telekinesis. Smile there faint on his lips, he sighs again and presses his forehead to Peter's. Looking to him.
"Peter," he starts. "I'm telling you because I trust you not to look at me any differently. That you won't think I'm fragile or needing to be saved or whatever. It sucks. It... really fucking sucks. But whatever time I have... I want to spend it doing whatever I can for others. With others. With you."
When Nate's brow rests against his, there's no hesitation as his other hand grips the front of Nate's shirt, holding him tightly close to him like that.
"I'm not looking at your differently. I'm looking at you as...." As someone to be saved. Not because of that but because he has a chance to save someone and not fail them. Yet isn't he setting himself up to fail again?
Was it right to try and do that for himself instead of giving Nate what he wants and needs?
"I'm not agreeing to give up," he whispers softly. He hasn't come to care about someone for the first time since Gwen to just accept they're dying. "But whatever you want and need. Which I would have promised you anyway," he points out.
Eyes falling shut, he blows out a sigh before he slowly nods there, brow still resting against his. "I know," that Peter would do whatever he could for him. "But I also need you to know that even if you can't fix this, it's not your fault." It's something he's had to tell Wade as well. "It's no one's fault but Sinister's for doing this to me. I just have to deal with it in whatever ways I can."
Letting his eyes open then, he tilts his head a little, nosing Peter gently before he brings a hand up to caress at the other man's neck. "Also, I can read your mind, you know." Raising a brow as if trying to tell the other he can't bullshit him, he huffs a soft laugh then.
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why do you assume they're bad?
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If it's none of my business, you can say so.
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let me in your head? i mean, do i have permission to?
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You can. You can do that.
If you want to.
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"Hey," he says. "Just thought it would be... better than reading a text."
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"I appreciate it. Wade seemed concerned, but so did others. Like they only do these things to show us the worst."
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"Yeah. I mean, considering this place doesn't exactly go out of its way to make our lives easy or happy, wouldn't put it past them." Smile there faint on his lips, he looks over to Peter before he sighs and turns slightly to face him. "I... lost my telekinesis. So it's why I'm here in your mind. Not being able to fly sort of makes traveling a nightmare when you're used to it."
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"How? How can that even happen? You can still do this but you can't ... What happened?"
He tries to imagine losing his abilities, but none of his are quire like Nate's. More than that, he wasn't born with them.
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The question has that faint smile slip away entirely and blue eyes drop to gaze at the floor, thumb brushing over the back of the other man's hand. "I... think I burnt myself out a bit. I figured I would at some point just... didn't think it'd be so soon."
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He blinks though, hopeful. "Maybe it's just a block? Maybe things got... wait, you said you knew it would at some point. Why? Does this happen to those with telekinesis? Is it a finite power?"
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So he steps in closer, catching Nate's strong jaw with a delicate touch of his fingers and ducks his head to try and meet his gaze. His fingers give Nate's a squeeze.
"Hey. Talk to me. Okay? I'm here to listen and do whatever I can. Or just listen. Okay?"
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"I'm dying," he says then, lifting his blue eyes up to meet the other's. "Or... burning out, I guess." Sigh on his lips, he shakes his head, hating that he has to tell him this... again. "The madman who made me from Jean and Scott's DNA embedded a sort of... expiry date in my own DNA. I'm too powerful of a weapon to be around and so it's better to get rid of a weapon when you no longer need it than have it laying around to do whatever it wants." It's the best way he can describe it, really. "I'm too powerful for my own body to handle. It's why I pass out or bleed at the nose or feel dizzy after awhile. I... think my losing my telekinesis might be me burning out. The start of it maybe."
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"Oh."
He doesn't know what else to say in that moment, stroking his thumb along the line of Nate's cheek. All of his fears and panic from the coma are gone, just wanting to be there for Nate.
"I... No. I don't accept that." It's a ridiculous thing to say but he means it. "You ... No. This place, and everyone in it, and all I've already learned about. There has to be a way to fix it. There has to be a way."
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"Peter," he starts. "I'm telling you because I trust you not to look at me any differently. That you won't think I'm fragile or needing to be saved or whatever. It sucks. It... really fucking sucks. But whatever time I have... I want to spend it doing whatever I can for others. With others. With you."
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"I'm not looking at your differently. I'm looking at you as...." As someone to be saved. Not because of that but because he has a chance to save someone and not fail them. Yet isn't he setting himself up to fail again?
Was it right to try and do that for himself instead of giving Nate what he wants and needs?
"I'm not agreeing to give up," he whispers softly. He hasn't come to care about someone for the first time since Gwen to just accept they're dying. "But whatever you want and need. Which I would have promised you anyway," he points out.
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Letting his eyes open then, he tilts his head a little, nosing Peter gently before he brings a hand up to caress at the other man's neck. "Also, I can read your mind, you know." Raising a brow as if trying to tell the other he can't bullshit him, he huffs a soft laugh then.
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cw: brief mention of suicide ideation
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